Apologies

Now, I like fine dining as much as the next man (though I'm not a fan of the fuss and faff of the Heston Blumenthal school of clever-clever haute cuisine). However, I will also hold my hand up to liking fast food. Burger King over McDonald's - if nothing else the fries are incomparably better - but I also have a weakness for Kentucky Fried Chicken, and the Colonel's smiling face can be seen just round the corner from me, on Lavender Hill. Years ago, I used to live literally opposite a KFC, and I vividly remember going in late one night just before they were due to close, and turning people away, to be reassured "No, no, we cook for you!"

So it was with some avidity (is that a word?) that I have watched this week's crisis in the Colonel's supply chain. My local branch has remained open, and has been well-stocked with chicken; oddly, it has been the side orders which have been unavailable. I do like the beans, but have been denied. It has been a tough old week for their comms people, I dare say: at one point, I read that something like 750 of 900 branches were closed. Nor does KFC lack for competitors in the fried chicken market. Off the top of my head, I can think of Chicken Cottage, Chicken Corner, Texas Fried Chicken, Dallas Chicken and Ribs… People will vote with their feet.

Today, KFC put out an apology in the Metro. It featured a bucket, emblazoned with the letters "FCK" and the strap line "We're sorry". And I thought it was a brilliant move. Some people on social media have become suddenly po-faced - is swearing now part of standard English? (Yes, always has been, at least since Chaucer) - and some have wondered whether an apology was the right thing to do. Of course it was. I've always thought a good motto was, if you fuck up, own up.

It took my mind to trains. Don't worry, it's not as random as it sounds. We've all been inconvenienced by delayed or cancelled trains or Tubes. We've all fumed at the lacuna in our journey or the late arrival at work or wherever. But, if you're anything like me, the blood pressure drops considerably when a representative of whatever operating company it is says "Sorry". It's an acknowledgement that they've got it wrong.

I'd go further than that. Fuck up, own up, and explain. I may not be representative, but if I know why my train/Tube/cable car is delayed, I am put in a much more forgiving mood. At least if the explanation is patently honest. To take the Tube as an example, if I'm told there are severe delays due to a passenger being taken ill, or to a points failure at so-and-so, I'm likely to think, well, OK, that's unfortunate, and annoying, but I can see the chain of events. These things happen, no-one is perfect.

Honesty is the other watchword. If a train is half an hour late, tell me that. Don't tell me it's 15 minutes late, then another five, then another five. That will boil my blood. If you know what the situation is, front up to your customers (remember when we were passengers?) and tell it like it is. Yet companies seem not always to understand this, and try to limp along on what I suppose they regard as damage limitation. It doesn't work.

So I thought KFC's advertisement was a master-stroke. They've taken it on the chin, owned up to something (which, from reading the stories in the press, wasn't actually their fault, but the fault of DHL, their new delivery company) and have, I hope, engendered a degree of goodwill. My local branch still doesn't have any beans, but you can't have everything.