Guest column: What the well-dressed schoolmaster is wearing

From time to time, dear readers, you will have the opportunity to absorb the thoughts of some of my acquaintances, on a range of topics. This time, my friend Didaktikos offers some advice on "What the well-dressed schoolmaster is wearing", for your entertainment and (ha!) education. Take it away...

"I am most grateful to The Sybarite for allowing me the space for this niche area of dress and good living. Schoolmastering is something which involves a certain amount of teaching, a substantial amount of sport, a significant number of weekends and evenings, and rivers of gin. You see those specimens in polyester and short-sleeved shirts? Teachers (or, more likely, learning facilitators), not schoolmasters.

For the teaching

This could vary depending on your age, position and location/tradition of school. The closer one gets to London, the more likely that a lounge suite will be the clothes justes for daily wear, especially for younger masters, Heads of Department and senior leadership team. One's best suit should be kept for important occasions, such as parents' meetings, ends of term, interviews and such like. The other(s) can be worn daily, although this will mean that they require constant repair (the same goes for shoes). Charcoal or navy is best, with a light stripe or maybe birdseye/houndstooth/Prince of Wales. Strenuously avoid light grey (just generally) and anything which makes you look like a pupil. A collection of suits will require the budget of a few promotions; alas for our monk-like poverty. Saturdays are different (often blazer/tweed) because of the fewer lessons and sports fixtures. Some colleagues wear linen suits in the summer term. Hmm… white makes you the man from Del Monte; blue may be forgivable (and smart), but only after half term.

When I am a Housemaster, I shall wear tweed.

Shirts and ties are vexed questions. Oddly enough, I've had better success at interview with neutral ties, rather than ones for a particular organisation or group. Having said that, it's very important that pupils recognise the ties of the major public schools, Oxbridge colleges, ancient universities, London clubs, the MCC, Hawks, etc. A nice selection of jolly and sober ties is always the key; one certainly shouldn't wear the same tie twice in a week. Equally, one shouldn't always wear the same tie with the same shirt. Keep them guessing. Cuff links should match in some way, but not as if they were bought together. For shirts, anything beyond plain, striped or checked does rather betoken an art master. I would wear cotton poplin (or sea-island), even with tweed, during the week. Flannel is more appropriate for the festival atmosphere that can overtake Saturdays.

I am rather louche on socks, but plain or hooped is safest. Bright, though. Children enjoy it.

There are the problems of waistcoats and hats. Waistcoats may well be worth it, especially during the winter months, but only for real suits or tweed. Instead of a waistcoat, a plain coloured slipover adds a welcome splash of colour and is good for the warmth, while still allowing the wearing of a jacket. Hats, again and alas, betoken the art master. Silk handkerchiefs are a matter of personal taste. If you doing any of this, don't do it once, get made fun of, then refuse to do it ever again. Either go for it or don't; be brave!

As for the shoes, bear in mind you are moulding the leaders of the future: black lace up Oxfords or brown brogues. Maybe suède in the summer.

For the sports

Unlike many of my friends, I rather like organised team sports. For the coaching and refereeing of these, sports kit is rather necessary. Many places give you a uniform kit; others don't and, especially for refereeing, the kit of your old school/ college/ university /club is the best. I tend to find this smarter than the uniform kit. For the managing of teams in matches, a solid tweed and chinos/moleskin are the best in the winter, with blazer and chinos/linen in the summer. To go with the winter sports (rugby, soccer, hockey), wellies, a tweed overcoat or quilted jacket, and a tweed cap are the appropriate accessories. For midweek fixtures, these can team a lounge suit in a strange marriage which says: 'I've just come from the classroom, but I would rather be shooting.' I'm not a cricketer, but I gather they have rather good stuff to wear, such as MCC ties and blazers; tennis requires a blazer, white chinos and a panama (the same goes for croquet, except with a boater). I don't have the first clue what rowers wear, nor am I particularly interested.

For formal occasions

Not enough at your school? Make them up.

'Of course the --------- society dinner is white tie, why shouldn't it be?'

'I'm Common Room social secretary and I say the dress code require two lines of braid on the trousers!'

There will normally be many black tie events, such as leavers' balls, House dinners, Common Room dinners, etc. The trick is to show that you know how to do it better than everyone else, while making them feel that they want to be you rather than want to kill you. Make sure you have a black evening waistcoat and patent lace-ups (or pumps, as The Sybarite would have it). Ethnic variations (trews) are particularly smart, but beware of kilts if there's a danger of more than usual intoxication. You can imagine why.

For Speech Day, I wear my Scottish formal day wear, otherwise your best suit will do. I would love to wear morning dress, but this contravenes the golden rule which follows…

Never blatantly outdress the Headmaster. Do it subtly.

For informal occasions

You can never have enough chinos or sports jackets. As above, slipovers are a smart winter piece. Unless it's the holidays and one might walk to the Porter's Lodge in dressing gown, I do think a certain decorum around the place is necessary. Take the time to change, dressing up or dressing down. It's boring wearing a lounge suit all day; equally, don't be one of those people who wears a tracksuit into Common Room.

Hopefully this may be of some guidance to those in my profession. It may even have tempted some of you into it…

Didaktikos"